How To Handle Sibling Fighting - Or How To Teach Your Children To Be Friends
If you only have one child, you will not relate to this, in fact your role as a parent is only just beginning. Parents of two or more children will relate to this article immediately. Parenting, the real hard parenting, starts when you have two or more children. Now the fights and squabbles start. Now you have to include referring and mediation in your set of parenting skills.
Having more than one child does provide opportunities for your children to learn many things. They learn how to share, how to be friends, how to love and get along with others, and how to cooperate amongst themselves. There are many positive aspects to family life with more than one child, although many parents would disagree.
Constant fighting between siblings is one of the major frustrations parents have. They feel that nothing they are doing is working. Parents' typical reactions to fighting include: taking sides, threats, accusations, dismissing negative feelings, and solving children's problems for them. All of these reactions only serve to aggravate the situation.
Instead of being reactive, parents can choose to be pro-active. They can stay out of the fights in a nonjudgmental way. Children need to be able to sort things out for themselves. Parents can teach negotiation skills later when the fightings over.
Another thing parents can do is show confidence that their children will work things out. Provide guidance and show some faith. Parents also need tow some commonsense. Leave two or more children alone in a room with only one toy and you are asking for trouble. Teach them how it is possible for both of them to play with the one toy, then leave them to it.
Parents also need to remember to affirm and accept feelings. All feelings are O.K., but not all actions are. Keep in mind that the bad feelings need to come out before we can get to the good feelings. Show them how to express their feelings verbally rather than physically.
When parents react poorly, they are unwittingly promoting rivalry. You are their role model, they will learn by copying you. You must also remember that what they learn in the home they will take to the school playground. How they respond to those situations, they will take through to adulthood. It all starts with you.
