Mcmama Mother’s Blog, Mothering Tips

Let boys be boys - let them play with guns

Now there is a controversial heading if ever I saw one. However, psychologists are now coming to the view that suppressing a young boys natural play habits could have serious long term consequences.

A new document issued by the Department for Children, Schools and Families said children should be encouraged to take part in play which "involves more action".(http://www.telegraph.co.uk)

The gap in education standards between boys and girls is growing and growing at an alarming rate. Some of this has been tracked back to when 'political correctness' took over and parents, schools and sociologists called for the bans on guns, tanks, toy soldiers and the like. One psychologist has been quoted as saying:

To tell a boy that playing with a guns is bad can have consequences. It is often difficult to understand a child's reasoning processes, however, if the child thinks that playing with a gun is bad, and the child likes playing with a gun, then he, the child, must also be bad.

Boys have a naturally aggressive nature. They also have a great imagination when it comes to play. I remember my young days when we played 'cowboys and indians'. Or we played out our own war games. The truth is many generations of males grew up playing with these toys - they certainly did not become overly aggressive adults - in fact the youth of today is far more aggressive than my generation and that is without these toys.

Boys do need to be boys. They need to play in a fashion which is natural - not forced into unnatural play. By being inventive, using their innate tendencies they learn to grow. Education becomes more interesting. With that, one would hope, the gap between boys and girls would fall. Boys may also get some of the aggression out of their systems early.

Surely the key here is not to stop our young children from playing with these toys but to educate them. As they get older teach them the responsibilities and consequences of some of their toys. The one thing I find interesting in this debate is that girls, in their preteen era, are far more aggressive than boys. They are also taught consequences when playing with their dolls etc, especially in this day and age when they can be feed the doll and have the doll wee itself.

The 'do good' campaigns of the eighties are now coming home to bite us - I wonder which of their holly grails will come unstuck next - smacking, kids rights (no responsibilities) - who knows - do you?

Let boys be boys - let them play with guns

Do you use a server

Do you use a server? Are you in need in of a server? Do you know where you can get good quality new and used cisco servers? I do!

Twin Cities Digital have a wide range of new and used servers to suit all purposes. They also link with 3rd party maintenance companies to ensure your servers are maintained at an economical rate. Twin Cities Digital are all willing to discuss buying your old server if you are considering upgrading. Check them out.

New Year - New Theme

First a happy new year to all - I hope 2008 is a happy and prosperous year for all.

For my regular visitors, I have changed my theme yet again. I will be tweaking it a bit more. Since I am one of the rare people still using Drupal, it is becoming difficult to find themes that really excite, unless you are prepared to pay for them.

If this blog ever becomes really popular then I will see to buying one. I actually like the Drupal admin interface, I think it is much easier than Wordpress.

I hope you come to like this theme as I tweak it, add a few graphics, bring a bit of color to it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

How To Choose A Babysitter

Sometimes in life, you need to look at priorities other than your child. Hate it as much as you want, there seems to be no way you can escape. The thought of leaving your child home while you socialize in that grand party, is enough to give jitters to you. Just when you thought of canceling the whole event and staying back home, a viable option comes your way. Choosing a baby sitter to look after your baby, is not only a dependable option but very useful too. Now you are faced with a situation of how to choose that perfect baby sitter. Go through these ideas and tips that will ensure that you choose the right one for your kid.

* Trust is instinctive and when you interview potential baby sitters, the trust and bonding that develops then will be very helpful in deciding whether this baby sitter is right or not. The babysitter must trust you and you must learn to trust him/her with your baby.
* Take a formal interview and check the credentials. See if the babysitter is alert enough to deal with children and emergency situations. The babysitter must be able to grasp your questions and be able to answer them swiftly. Make sure you are aware whether the babysitter is trained in providing first aid in case of an injury.
* The best places to look for a babysitter are schools and colleges or even day care service centers. They will be able to recommend experienced people and help you choose the right one for your kid.
* On the day when you need to go out, call the babysitter at least half an hour before you leave. Show where you have important contact numbers and leave clear and precise instructions about feeding the baby and when to put him to bed.
* No matter how busy you are, make sure you call up home once during the evening to check if everything is ok. This way, you will remain a bit tension-free and your babysitter will also not take things casually, just because you are not around.

When you choose the right babysitter, you have to see the basic behavior portrayed by him/her. See if they are soft spoken, friendly, responsible, trustworthy and mature enough to handle a kid.

First week with the newborn baby

The first week with the newborn baby can be quite taxing for new moms who are still weak and recuperating from the tiring and painful labor experience and are burdened with the chores of the newborn. The constant stream of friends and relatives who come in to see the new child and congratulate the parents and the need to feel dressed while entertaining them and the shyness in feeding the baby in front of them can only lead to baby blues for many couples. In such a scenario, support from partner or spouse and other friends and family can relieve the stress on the mother to a great extent and leave her free to enjoy her new delightful angel and watch their curious reactions.

Experienced moms advise to new moms that staying in a fashionable button-down gown for first two weeks and have lots of people around to help you with your chores can be a great relief. Neighbors who will help you wash and iron dirty laundry and traditions such as those prevalent in Asian counties, where mother has to do nothing for 40 days in the household, except for looking after her baby and herself, feeding the baby and having a good, healthy and nutritious diet are actually quite useful for new mothers and allow them to rest and recover well. Spouses and partners that take good care for you and are prepared to share parenting responsibilities are real gems.

For the first week, husbands should try to take as much leave from their work as possible and encourage and motivate the mum by praising her and telling her how well she is managing everything. Don’t feel jealous of your child steering attention of your wife away from you and see it as a family-bonding phase. Dad and child bonding is as important as mom-child relationship, so be ready to do your share of work for the newborn including changing diapers and bottle feeding the baby. You may help with chores such as cleaning, cooking, attending visitors and telephone calls and be supportive of your wife’s feelings. Know that she may be susceptible to mood swings temporarily and be ready to face criticizing family and friends with a ready answer to ask for their support instead of advice.

Becoming a mother

 

One of the greatest milestones in a woman’s life is becoming a mother. No other event in one’s life brings about as many changes and as much responsibility as this one. Having a baby gives one a sense of fulfillment and enormous joy. At the same time study done in Australia on new mothers, has shown that, first-time mothers have been overwhelmed by the changes that take place after the baby is born. Most of them admitted that they were not prepared for their new role as a ‘mother’, and the extent to which their lives changed with the arrival of the baby. Most of them said that they were exhausted with the amount of work that was involved in taking care of a newborn.

The study also showed that over a period of time as they got used to the baby and formed a routine, they become more confident about their nurturing skills. When they accepted help from family and friends to do various chores they were more comfortable and enjoyed their new status better. The study has stated that three factors helped women adjust to their new role:

* Prior knowledge about motherhood and babies.
* Good support system consisting of family and friends.
* Alert, receptive baby who helped the mother take care of them.

Change is the only constant in life. Each time there is change in your life, you learn, growth and discover things about yourself that you were not aware of. A few tips that new mothers must remember:

* Being a mother is a learnt skill; it isn’t something that a woman is born with.
* The first three years of motherhood are the toughest and they will pass by before you know it. So enjoy it.
* Taking care of a child was never meant to be one person’s responsibility. So get all support you can and you will enjoy being a mother.

Being a mother is a wonderful gift and feeling, inspite of all the hard work enjoy it while it lasts.